This little dolly, Maude, came to me last night. She told me all about her continuing struggles. She tells me that she has a hard time seeing herself in the mirror. She has no problem understanding other people. Why can't she understand herself? I suggested that quite possibly, she is blinded by her need to judge everyone else's behavior. Just a thought. . . here she is.
She brought something to my mind, though. I cringed at the sound of my voice using the word "judge" in such a way. You see, I have this odd way of thinking. I hold certain points of view (just like anyone), but am so irritated by people who use such points of views, as a sort of thoughtless pedestal to stand on. It's like a bandwagon way of thinking and. . . phrasing thoughts? Maybe it's that I have this feeling that many people are saying "the right thing," but are just spouting what they've heard. Maybe it's possible they wouldn't hold this point of view, had no one ever told them about it. . . and they sure have a way of saying it the same way everyone else says it.
This is how I feel about the word "judge." See, it has every bit of a place in the court of law, where actual judges preside, and judging must take place. But, not every opinion or point of view is a judgment. I find that many people are often so quick to say, "don't judge." When really, perhaps that person held no judgements of the other. They simply had an opinion (which last I heard we are all more than welcome to have) about life. . . which happened to coincide with someone else's life, thoughts, words, choices, etc.
I suppose I'm saying: why must a moral opinion be considered a judgement of others? And in fact, even if it is one. . . why is "judging" always held so negatively? The very same people who would say "don't judge" would also express their horror at a person only suspected of rape and murder. What is it with this trend of insisting that everyone's morals be alike?
Don't get me started on the phrase, "Safety First!!" You see, I believe in being safe, and even in keeping it pretty high on one's mind. But, the fact that so many people remind and caution you to be safe (as if we could forget about the dangers our lives might face) in this same little hashed out phrase, "Safety First," irritates me. And probably making your voice go up at the end, and wagging your little finger condescendingly. . . is that it? Do I find it condescending? Who knows. I just think, "Be careful," is more than fine.
One thing we do know is I have some major problems when it comes to watching people behave in these ways, alongside so many others behaving the same way. This is the first time I've ever publicly voiced these thoughts, that I can recall. I'll stop here.
Thank you for letting me rant on this topic under the guise of showing you my newest doll. ; )
Lotus Asylum
Benjamin Blythe loves the girls he watches over. He strolls along the halls, checking on each one. The girls look forward to seeing him, he's very tall and mysterious. They don't know anything about him. He can be purchased here.
Benjamin Blythe is a unique sculpting experience, in that he didn't turn out even remotely like I planned. I planned to make a female doll as usual, but I did want to make it differently than usual. I wished to make a long face, longer body, and high eyelids. I did these things, but I didn't expect the doll to look like a boy.
Well, I discussed it with my husband, and he agreed that I should dress him like a gentleman. How could I resist something of a 19th century nature? So, I got started designing and sketching his clothes. The further along he came, the more pleased I was. You see, at first I was very disappointed with how he turned out. I will readily admit that he's not my best work. Yet, I put so many hours into the sculpting, I felt I had reached a point where there was nothing more I could do.
I love how he turned out, in the end.
Had this unexpected result occurred while making a custom doll, I would simply have made another one until I got it right. Every doll always has its own little personality, and has a place in the Asylum.
Stay tuned for my next doll, which will be themed in blues!
Lotus Asylum
Juliette is a walking contradiction. She is a pioneer woman with delusions of grandeur. She is a sensible, hard working girl who can make things happen and get things done. However, she seems to be under the impression that she's in charge of the asylum. It's exhausting, being delusional.
Juliette can be purchased here.
I had fun making this little dolly. I was inspired when I saw these two little "fat quarters" for quilting (I often buy these for my little dolly dresses) at the fabric store. I couldn't resist, even though I only had a few dollars to my name at the time. I had this thought of a little Susie Homemaker/Lucille Ball type girl. I even thought about giving her a story about too much time in the kitchen. . . maybe even make her the asylum cook. I have made some "faculty" dolls, before. Yet, as I continued to spend time with her, she began to speak to me in a different way. As I usually do with my dolls, I let my own feelings bleed into hers and, not that I have any delusions of grandeur (in fact, I rather think that would be an interesting altered state of mind to have), I do find myself in a strange state where I'm running around trying to make everyone's life easier, or make things right, if they're not.
My father once said that I was a "pioneer woman," that I was good at making things work, making things happen. If something was not right, I found a way to make it so. And when push came to shove, I've always been good at getting things done. I felt that this dolly needed to have that in her, somewhere, and as she came together, I was very pleased with my work. Oh, of course, I don't think she's the best thing I've ever made, or even could make, but I am happy with her. . . more so even than I expected to be.
I look ever forward to the new options that will open up to me with the new clay that will soon arrive. I think there is a new world–even a new venture out there for me, and I plan to explore the expanse of life that lays ahead of me.
Lotus Asylum
